Autumn Leaves (Remix) - Let's talk about leaf blowers for a minute

The right to bear tools seems to be the harmless, modern, only slightly-evolved ethos of the suburbia-dweller. Power tools in general and, since we're in the pumpkin-spiced season, leaf blower specifically, are ubiquitous. And who exactly are we hurting when we wield a pressure washer against deck grime, a nail gun against stubborn siding, or a leaf blower against the floating harbingers of winter?

The peace and quiet of the neighborhood. Sorry to quickly answer my own rhetorical question, but that's the answer. That's the who/what we're hurting. The noise from leaf blowers is having a direct and irrefutably negative effect on the serenity of our outdoor spaces as well as the quality of the air (in the case of gas tools… more on that distinction soon). And it is potentially hurting those tiny little friends which dwell in our inner ears: the cochlear hair cells. 

A brief detour: one of those reasons, the one about the air, is the primary push for a recent and growing trend in local laws banning small gas-powered tools such as leaf blowers. In the Fall of 2023, a half dozen cities and the state of California have cited staggering air pollution statistics as well as noise pollution issues in their decision to ban sales of the tools. To avoid redundancy and let the real journalists cover the journalisticallities (real word, trust me… don’t look it up), here is a recent and thorough rundown of the current state of affairs: https://grist.org/solutions/leaf-blower-bans-air-pollution-noise/

I'll drone on with the noise implications. (Drone on? Get it? Ok. Sorry not sorry.) The noise symphony these tools conduct is part byproduct of power/work, and part waste energy. More efficient tools, such as the hi-tech, low-emission, battery powered variety, are still noisy but waste significantly less energy in the form of sound as compared to their gas powered ancestors.

So that's what I use: an overpowered electric cordless leaf blower that cost more than my first guitar. You know, since you brought it up, let's compare the leaf blower to my first guitar. 

  • Both were overkill in the cool factor

  • Both carry an anticipated life-span of 1 to questionmark years

  • Neither impressed bystanders the way I would have hoped if I was being honest with myself

  • Only one of them annoyed the neighbors. Use the context clues above to guess which!

A friend recently pointed out to me that the leaf blower, even my adored electric-type (hidden pokemon joke my daughters might laugh at) is special in the lineup of yard tools since it's titular job can be easily supplanted by one of the simplest tools in existence: the humble rake. I argue back, defiantly rolling up my mortgage statement into a makeshift megaphone so my headstrong rantings carry the proper financial angst, that the leaf blower reduces user effort and increases time efficiency. Which are true points, by the way. Now, if we're being fully honest, it is just plain fun and nearly indulgent-feeling to command a small turbine-fueled tornado and sic the airy violence upon a smattering of hapless tree feathers. That satisfaction of “more power” (a dated but palpable reference for at least a few readers, but definitely not one my daughters will laugh at) is notably absent when one bends at the elbows and works up a sweat while waddling around the yard with the ancient, simple, [read: dumb] rake.

Typically, I would stop here and feel righteous, but this all came to a head last week when I was blissfully spiriting-away the deciduous detritus from my driveway. My 7 year old was toiling away tirelessly with a toy-tool rake some 20 feet upwind, and in the sweetest voice she inquired politely if I would stop and pick up a rake instead. With the wisdom of decades in my voice I replied “Nah, I'm good. See, I got this cool tool that goes vrrooooommm.” It wasn’t more than a few minutes later, however dear reader, when she unplugged my vindication with the words “you know, the rake is quieter.”

And there's the rub. It's more work to rake, and the end result is the same when you look at the lawn, but the effect the useless noise has and those close by it's just that: noise. useless. replaceable.

Surley, my electric leaf blower, outputting some 83dBA from 5 ft away and a measly 55 dBA to my neighbor, is not disturbing the peace. It is not the gas-powered, air-show-level turbulence that shatters the tranquility of so many sunny fall mornings, but it still remains useless replaceable noise. Like all tools in my life, I plan to continue to use it when the job calls for it, but I’ll try to switch it off when those around me, particularly those with smaller ears and wiser brains, remind me that the noise is annoying and can often be replaced by good old fashioned elbow grease and the humble (dumb) rake.

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